Sunday, August 06, 2006

I'm hugely fed up at the moment.

I returned from Edinburgh 2 days ago and it's a really strange feeling I'm experiencing at the moment. I hate living back at home, I really do. It's weird and I feel bad saying it, but I'm my Mam's only company apart from the pets at the moment and she just doesn't leave me alone. She talks at me all the time about things i'm blatently not interested in at all and then gets all tetchy if I come across like I'm not interested. I've also turned into her fucking runaround. All I hear is 'Will you do this', 'Will you do that' etc. Now, don't get me wrong, I pull my weight when it comes to housework and chores but why should I have to go and buy her a bottle of wine all the time or go and get her cigarettes? She manages ok when I'm not here so she can bloody well do it herself.

Also, all the friends I want to spend time with are away on courses and the like. I find myself becoming a little upset sometimes actually. The people that are in my vacinity are people I can't bear to spend anymore time with as we're practically joined at the hip! Last night for example, a friend who lives 'round the corner had a free house, as did I, so it was automatically assumed that we'd do something. Last night all I wanted to was veg out with a can and my chips in front of a film. I know I just said I'm missing my friends, but last night was just one of those nights where I wanted to slob out on my own, but I couldn't 'cause my friend had to come over. To make it worse, this person is the type to take offence if I simply said I wanted to spend the night on my own. They're a bloody pain in the behind I tell you.

I feel like I have loads of pent up fustration and am close to bursting point. I had a great time in Edinburgh, but it wasn't relaxation time because of our gig. I desperately need a break otherwise I'm going to pop.

I think I'm just going to go and practice really really loudly now.

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