Saturday, May 27, 2006

Pleasure/Pain

I do believe in that in experiencing pain, you will also experience pleasure. It's not exactly an advanced principle, as most people can see the good things in a bad situation and those people are usually arseholes. Ok, slightly harsh. But I hate it when I'm really angry about someone or something there are certain people who go, 'Oh but you know, imagine how they're feeling', or something along those lines. No thank you. I want to remain angry and pissed off, I do not someone calming me down. I need someone agreeing with me and making me feel better. Sorry about that slight tangent, it wasn't what I meant to say really.

It's just that I've had a rotten few months, I mean really bad and I've felt to put it bluntly, fucking terrible. However the last few weeks have been wonderful and it's made me think a bit more, I mean it's like someone has been rewarding me for all I've had to put up with and it's made me so happy. I want to thank someone, but there's no-one I can thank!

I came third in the woodwind prize which was a massive massive morale booster. I personally thought I played quite rubbish, but it just goes to show how my old 'rubbish' is a lot worse than my current 'rubbish'. I'm working harder and it's rubbing off and I'm become more critical of myself as a musician. I'm feel much freer now than I ever did and I can't wait to do my recital!

Most importantly, after waiting patiently, I received a letter confirming that I have a place at the Royal College of Music next year. I was so happy about this, I spent a whole week grinning inanely to myself! I need to find £6k from somewhere but it'll be so worth it I don't care. I'm majorly excited.

Also the LSQ have their first Civil Partnership gig! Another exciting thing! My good friend Alan and the wonderful Tony are having a civial partnership ceremony in a few weeks and I'm so happy for them. It's such an amazing thing, I can't wait :)

Wheee

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